Are you SCARED of the DARK?

My parents still live off a dusty road among a scattering of ponderosa pine and Douglas fir trees. Over a small wooden bridge, up a gravel driveway, and in a blue, cedar-sided house is where I spent my younger years.  On the other side of the county road, up on a sunny slope, used to live a man who was like a third grandfather to me.  He took my brother and me fishing, on a camping trip to the top of Kalispel Peak, to the bowling alley, and to the circus for a ride on an elephant.  I have a wealth of fond memories from those days.

This neighbor fashioned himself an outdoorsman- actually now that I think of it he called himself a sportsman.  He owned a great deal of land, complete with small ponds laden with trout and mountainsides ripe with deer, moose, elk, and bear.  Every October brought the start to hunting season and he and his sons went off tromping through the woods and fields in search of prey with their calf-high leather boots, binoculars, and orange stocking caps.  The four of them would hunt until dark on the land surrounding his house and then come home in time for a late dinner and then bed.

I didn’t tag along on these trips, even though I was often asked.  My mom didn’t care much for guns and nearly lost her mind when, as a four year old, I told her I had shot a pop can with a rifle while in my neighbor’s field.  It was fine that I wasn’t allowed on these hunting trips because there were plenty of other things to do, like building rafts to float in the ponds, flying gliders, or playing catch with a Frisbee or baseball.  So although I didn’t spend much time thinking about it, it would be safe to say I assumed my neighbor was an accomplished and wide-ranging outdoorsmen, meaning he knew how to find his way in the woods, build a shelter, start a fire, identify wild plants to eat, and other things that people who recreate outdoors are supposed to be able to do.  And CERTAINLY there would be no way a rough and rugged sportsman would be scared while out in his element.  Wild animals, escaped convicts, and monsters that could be creeping through the woods might frighten a little boy like myself, but definitely not a great hunter.  And being scared of the dark?  Preposterous.  Children were afraid of the dark, not adults.

So imagine my surprise when, as a grown man, and visiting my neighbor and rehashing a backpacking trip that I had taken into the Bitterroot, he confided to me that he had always been scared of the dark.  I was stunned. No, actually I was outright shocked. I tried not to show it didn’t because I didn’t want to cause any (additional) embarrassment on his part but I doubt I did a respectable job of it.  He then asked me if I was scared of the dark.  Caught somewhere between trying not to laugh and attempting to salvage what was left of the man’s ego, I said, “No, not really.”

I’ve spent hundreds of nights outdoors, alone, and without anything that could be called a weapon.  Sure, there have been times I’ve been scared; two instances that come to mind are when I was setting up my tent in the dark and a perfectly healthy-looking fifty foot tree fell over not more than ten yards from my tent and also when twenty Tennessee hillbillies, driving five “muddin” trucks decided to use the Appalachian Trail as a proving ground and nearly turned me and my tent into a pancake.  Where I’m from it’s not uncommon for people (loggers and firewood cutters mostly) to get seriously injured or killed by falling trees and for anyone who has ever seen Deliverance I don’t think I need to explain why I was a little on edge in the deep south with gang of rednecks about.   My point being that just because it was dark outside doesn’t mean that was the reason I was frightened.

I’ve been scared shitless during daylight hours too.  Riding in the passenger seat while my wife drives is a prime example.  She insists that her drivers education teacher never taught her about a two second following distance so while tailgating the car in front of her she likes to get close enough so that she can read their fuel gauge.  I admit I have some fears (and one debilitating phobia I will talk about sometime in the future) but I don’t see the dark as being one of them.

It is a fact there are people who are afraid of the dark so now the question that arises is just how many scaredy cats are actually out there.  And to be clear, I’m talking about adults here, not children.  Kids are afraid of everything.  I would know, having been a little nancy pants in my younger years.  The pig-man, whose existence I learned about in a supermarket tabloid and then had confirmed by an episode of Seinfeld, was a creature who tormented me for years since he did, in fact, spend his nights in the hallway between my bedroom and the nearest bathroom.

So how many adults are afraid of the dark?  What percentage?  And how many of you little sissies out there are willing to admit it?  Well, the answer to that second question is somewhere around ten percent, according to a Wikipedia page on irrational fears.  A friend of mine from work says this percentage is definitely on the low side since most males aren’t going to admit an unmanly fear and that there are also a lot of people who don’t know if they are afraid of the dark since they live in urban areas where artificial light is practically as constant as hurt feelings at a Costanza family Festivus.  And I do agree.  If a person always has light from gadgets and other things illuminating their space they would be more likely to see things that weren’t there if they were all alone and in the dark on a moonless night.

It’s not hard to figure out what makes people afraid of the dark.  For most, vision is the strongest of the five senses.  Take that dominant sense away and the subconscious mind begins to imagine all the scary things that could be lurking in the shadows.  If the conscious mind is not able to counter with reason and logic then panic is very likely to set in.

Let’s say that you are one of the unfortunate ten percent of people who have an irrational fear of the dark.  The good news is that there is hope for you.  My lovely wife used to be petrified of being alone at night when I first met her.  We like to vacation at a place with no running water or electricity and an outhouse about one hundred feet away from the house.  The first few years we stayed there she was terrified to go to the bathroom at night, but now, after having lots of practice with the nightly jaunt to the latrine, she doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Gradually facing your fears (systematic desensitization is what smart people call it) is largely regarded as the best method of reducing or eliminating phobias and fears.  It worked for my wife and it has worked for lots of other people too.  Good luck.